Preparing for a Mediation Session

Mediation is a conversation with structure. The more clearly you understand your own position before the session, the more you are likely to get out of it.

1. Organise your documents

Gather copies, not originals, of anything relevant: contracts, receipts, letters, messages, site plans, financial records or minutes. Put them in date order. You may not need to share everything, but you should know what you have.

A short timeline on a single page of key events is one of the most useful things you can bring.

2. Separate positions from interests

Your position is what you are asking for. Your interests are the reasons behind it: security, recognition, fairness, money to meet a need, or simply an apology.

Write down:

• what you are asking for;
• why it matters to you;
• what a workable outcome would look like;
• what you could accept, even if it is not ideal.

Mediation often succeeds when both sides' interests are met in a way neither had considered at the start.

3. Think about the other side

You do not have to agree with the other party to understand how they see the dispute. What do they need? What might they fear? What would make it easier for them to say yes?

4. Confirm who can agree

If you are representing a business, a family or an organisation, make sure you have the authority to agree a settlement, or that the people who do can be reached during the session.

5. Consider legal and financial advice

Mediators do not give legal advice to either party. If significant rights, property or money are at stake, consider speaking to a lawyer or financial adviser before the session, and before signing any agreement.

6. Prepare yourself, too

Disputes are stressful. It is normal to feel anxious or angry. It can help to:

• decide in advance what you most want the other person to understand;
• plan short breaks;
• remember that you can ask for a private conversation with the mediator at any time.

If you have concerns about your safety, tell the Centre before the session. Mediation should only go ahead if it can be carried out safely.

What to expect on the day

Sessions usually begin with the mediator explaining the process, the ground rules and confidentiality, including its limits. Each party may then have a chance to speak without interruption. The mediator may hold joint discussions and private sessions with each side.

If you reach agreement, the terms are written down. Read them carefully. You do not have to sign on the day if you want to take advice first.

If you do not reach agreement, that is not failure. You may have narrowed the issues or improved communication, and other options remain open.

This article is general information, not legal advice. For advice about your own situation, please consult a qualified lawyer.